Authenticity: the elusive quality that ignites classrooms

Do you feel like you're authentic in your teaching and in your life? 
How does we "become" more authentic? 
Can mindfulness bring authenticity or is it more than that?

In this episode, Amy unpacks the elusive quality of authenticity. We all think we know it when we see it but how do we develop it? 

Authenticity brings integrity and stability into our classrooms. Embracing vulnerability and aligning with our core values revolutionizes our teaching and enables our students to trust and let go so they can learn. 

Join Amy in this episode of the Conscious Classroom podcast as she uncovers the essence of authenticity and its transformative power in educational settings. With a focus on mindfulness and restorative practices, she outlines how educators can foster a genuine connection with their students, moving beyond arbitrary emotional outbursts into emotional intelligence, which leads to a place of integrity and growth.

Key to developing authenticity is self-knowledge, deeply exploring our motivations behind and supporting students in facing challenges on their own. By integrating mindfulness as an orientation to life, we embody authenticity and create a safe, supportive, and fear-free learning environment. 

Listen to the end to close with a guided meditation that will open up a new relationship to being present, available, and true to yourself, which in turn will contribute to a more resilient and impactful educational experience for both teachers and students.

Chapters

• 0:10 Cultivating Authenticity in the Classroom
• 12:27 Cultivating Authenticity and Mindfulness in Education

Transcript

Amy Edelstein: 0:10

Welcome to the Conscious Classroom podcast, where we're exploring tools and perspectives that support educators and anyone who works with teens to create more conscious, supportive and enriching learning environments. I'm your host, amy Edelstein, and I'll be sharing transformative insights and easy-to-implement classroom supports that are all drawn from mindful awareness and systems thinking. The themes we'll discuss are designed to improve your own joy and fulfillment in your work and increase your impact on the world we share. Let's get on with this next episode. Share let's get on with this next episode. Hello, welcome to the conscious classroom. My name is Amy Edelstein.

Amy Edelstein: 0:54

Moving forward in our conscious classroom episodes, we're going to be looking at some of the deeper qualities of mindfulness and other restorative reflective practices and how they really transform us and, as we transform, how that transforms our classrooms and our students' learning experiences. We're also going to be doing some very interesting deeper dives into the future of education. What's it all about? What are we trying to do and how do we get going in enacting our beta visions of the future of education? We'll be doing some interesting dialogues that are going to uncover probably more questions than answers this episode, though. We're going to dive right in and talk about how mindfulness cultivates that elusive quality of authenticity, which is something prized among friends, family, peers, and also a quality or value that's very important to the younger generation.

Amy Edelstein: 2:12

Authenticity is a very interesting quality because we know it when we feel it, when someone's being authentic, when we're almost taken off guard by someone's vulnerability, integrity of being, where, what they say, who they are, what they believe in and how they live all line up where we feel that sense of transparency, that sense where there are no veils or subterfuges covering that person, where their heart is on their sleeve, whether they're telling a joke or relating a serious and meaningful story. There's a quality of sameness, of evenness, of integrity of being, of being one, of being rooted as well as being flexible. So, as you can see, there are a lot of seeming paradoxes in someone who embodies authenticity. Those paradoxes aren't contradictions. They're not contradictory, they don't cancel one another out and they don't create a sense of doubt, because they're two seemingly opposable qualities coexisting in a way that makes perfect sense. Coexisting in a way that makes perfect sense.

Amy Edelstein: 3:51

Authenticity is a rare trait and it takes a lot to cultivate, even though it's not something that we can gear ourselves up to do. You can't wind yourself up to be authentic. You can't stretch your way into it, you can't warm up like you do for a performance or a race or competition or a game. Authenticity has a lot to do with resting in ourselves, with that sense of being deeply rooted in ourselves, in our heart, in our values, in what we care about, and oftentimes people don't really know what they care about, what's important to them as teachers or mentors or people who really care about creating conscious and awake environments for our young people, knowing what we care about, what we value, what's important, is crucial. How can we guide our students to make decisions that are aligned with their higher aspirations, with what they can become, with the world they want to see, if we're not clear ourselves, if we're not taking that time to look and align and realign? So it's interesting about why authenticity is important.

Amy Edelstein: 5:30

Has a lot to do with the quality of life that we want to live. So when we're authentic means fundamentally we're true to ourselves, so we don't doubt, we don't second guess our actions, we're in alignment with our intentions and motivations, we're able to trust ourselves because our actions are going to cohere and if we make mistakes or we do something that doesn't turn out, or if our intentions turn out to be not quite as pure as we thought. They might be, not quite as true, not quite as kind, not quite as wise, that's okay. That quality of resilience and ability to recognize a growth point and lean in and grow beyond that limitation and become a greater person than we were. Authenticity doesn't have really anything to do with getting it right. It has more to do with knowing what rightness means to us and really measuring that rightness against very high standards of those principles that we admire most and even those human beings who embody those principles to a great degree, people who inspire in us faith and love and a sense of safety and well-being.

Amy Edelstein: 7:39

I think oftentimes, in these days of options and choices and personas, of being able to become what it means to act in alignment with their own higher values and intentions and purpose. We want to work on our own authenticity ourselves and then be able to guide our students potential movement, where you saw everything from primal screaming to, you know, pillow bashing, therapy to all kinds of experiments and free expression as a way to uncover what's going on in our psyche and emotions and hidden memories and past. I think that what authenticity means became a little bit confused and authenticity started to mean just letting it all hang out. Now, letting it all hang out is not necessarily authenticity. You could be feeling angry for an absolutely petty reason and being upset in a way that you couldn't justify in the best of times, or even in the worst of times, or spewing that onto those we care about or on our colleagues and coworkers, or even on our students in class, which I have seen teachers do, is not authenticity. It's immaturity in relationship to emotions. It's not emotional intelligence.

Amy Edelstein: 9:42

When I was in my 20s, I did a month-long teacher training for yoga at a very well-known center in Western Massachusetts and one of our instructors there were probably about 100 people on a month-long course. It was an intensive program in the mid 80s and one of our teachers was going through a separation with her husband and she had the mic and she was teaching us yoga practices and theory and at one point she just started telling us what was happening in her personal life in a very emotional and intense and distraught way and by the end of it she took the mic and just threw it down in the center of the room and even though I was just in my mid-20s, I just thought no-transcript, so that would have been an example of a mistaken understanding of emotion, of authenticity and what it could mean that we're engaged with and to recognize that, as an instructor, one holds a position of authority and is always a role model. And, being a teacher, we always have to embrace that because, whether we like it or not, we're never off. We're always that role model. So our authenticity is to be true to what that means to be a role model. And it might be for her at that moment to say you know, I'm experiencing a lot of challenges and I'm going to hand today's session over to my colleague to run with you so he can be fully present and I can tend to what needs to be tended to. So it doesn't mean denial, but it certainly was very unhelpful for us to be exposed to that.

Amy Edelstein: 12:27

Authenticity means being able to create a hierarchy of the roles that we're embodying at any given moment and be true to the one that is the most important at that time and that recognizes that there might be multiple roles that we're taking at any one given time and so, intuitively, we need to digest all of that, internalize it all, synthesize it all, absorb it all and have that guide our actions. That's where mindfulness really comes in. That's where mindfulness really comes in, because when we're really one with our practice, when practice isn't something that we sit down and do on a cushion and then get up and go do something else, when practice is just a different modality of how we explore our lives, then our mindfulness will always serve us, whether we're telling jokes and hanging out, playing with a baby, listening to someone's heartbreak, mentoring and guiding, caring for someone dear to us who's at the end of their life. Our orientation that's been honed and refined by our formal exploration of contemplative modalities will mean that we can be authentic and present and spontaneous and unselfconscious and free in the moment. Being self-aware which mindfulness, certain types of mindful reflection and insight practice can bring us doesn't mean that we're constantly disassociated from ourselves and sitting back on some cloud, looking down at ourselves and judging everything we're doing. Judging everything we're doing, the type of mindfulness that I'm talking about, is not a separate voice in the head that's telling you what to do. It's an integration. It's almost like we're connected at an elemental level with the energy coursing through our body that keeps us alive, which is none other than the universal energy that is flowing through our whole world and solar system and cosmos. When our practice of mindfulness helps us really understand how the mind works, how it interrelates with thought and feeling, then we become more integrated, more unified, more one. And part of that exploration, of course, is really looking at motivation.

Amy Edelstein: 15:44

Why did I not want to help someone? Was it skillful means? Was I not the right person? Was I not going to do a good job? Were they in a place where they needed to do it themselves and not have somebody intervene? Our young people need to learn how to deal with difficult situations and not always get rescued or protected. Helicopter parent that rolls up their child up in bubble wrap so that when they fall down they bounce instead of skinning their knees, is not doing that child any good, because the child's going to grow up fearful of the world and afraid that they don't have the resources to cope because they've never tested them out. Our students in the classroom they need to struggle with things they don't understand in a good way. They need to dig deep and find their own resources and creativity and problem-solving skills. And of course we support that and we discern when a student is in a negative struggle that's devolving into self-doubt and self-criticism and when they're just struggling, and that's good for them. It helps them find their edge and it helps them grow on their own and gain confidence that they can grow. So what's our intention? Gain confidence that they can grow. So what's our intention?

Amy Edelstein: 17:22

Mindfulness helps us see that, oh, I didn't like that child as much as the other child I helped and so I didn't extend myself. Now, why didn't I like that child? Was there a reason? Was there a trigger? Was there a memory? Was there an association? Was there behavior that, unless that behavior gets curved, I'm going to have to keep my distance in some way? Teachers are human beings. We're not automatons. I know we are getting personalized AI tutors and those personalized AI tutors will be able to help individual children all of the time, 24-7. But our relationships with our students and our colleagues is a human one and there has to be a give and take. There has to be growth and development. So these questions around what creates authenticity and looking at motivation and how that relates to authenticity are all a big part of our own practice as educators, mentors and contemplatives.

Amy Edelstein: 18:49

Now I think it's very powerful to reflect on the different qualities that help us stay authentic, and one of them, I think, is also balance. When we know who we are, we're not leaning forward trying to please somebody above us for some kind of suspect reason and we're not shrinking away from calling it like it is when we need to, when we're rooted in our own deeper cares and we're not off balance, grasping after some position or recognition or acknowledgement that we want, we're able to be authentic, we're able to be present, completely present, and that's powerful because we're not contorting ourselves and our values in order to satisfy our more questionable motives. So we can work on not grasping and being off balance and reaching out for something outside of us to fulfill us, or we can do it. What I feel is a simpler way is to focus on centering in ourselves in that very, very mindful way, so that we're always authentic and that's going to take care of that all kinds of positioning and all kinds of ulterior motive. Because when we're really connected with our own values in a higher way, what we aspire to become, then we're less tempted by bad motive, we're less tempted to move off balance and when somebody is doing something for an ulterior motive, you feel they're not true, they're not authentic, they're not real, you don't know who they are. You don't know why they're doing what they're doing.

Amy Edelstein: 21:09

That creates a sense of lack of safety, and if there's anything that's needed in a conscious classroom these days is a sense of safety. We need safety from gun violence oh my gosh, do we ever? We need safety from bullying and abuse and ridicule. We need safety from prescribed ways of being that stunt creativity, and we need safety from adults who hold power over students who are bending their values for motives that aren't so good. It's a really big deal in our culture right now, and this doesn't mean allowing for a tyranny of cancel culture either. We're always growing, we're always developing, we're always learning.

Amy Edelstein: 22:26

A diversity of viewpoints that are valid and not hateful, tolerance for others, different perspectives on life and different conclusions, being willing to learn, recognizing our common humanity is again all part of that authenticity. Authenticity is not imposing sameness. It's not a fascism of belief or conformity. In our contemporary world, there's a lot that goes under the name of change, that becomes an overbearing imposition of one person or group's opinion or preference on the whole. So we have to watch for that in ourselves. And being true to ourselves enables others to also be free be true to, perhaps, their own cultural outlook, their own background, their own path up the mountain. So if we're heading up the mountain to greater and greater authenticity and awakeness and mindfulness and wisdom and compassion, it's the same mountain and there are many different paths. Let's let our different students and our different colleagues take their own path and recognize when it is the same mountain or if they've gotten lost and headed up the wrong mountain.

Amy Edelstein: 24:15

I was once hiking somewhere with a very good friend of mine and there was a whole group of us and there were two mountains and they looked very similar. They were two lumps in the northern part of a country where we were hiking in, big lumps in the northern part of a country where we were hiking in and my one friend very, very confidently took us up the wrong mountain and only when we got to the top and looked down did we realize we had climbed the exact wrong one. So it is possible to go up the wrong mountain. Well, we don't want to do that and we don't want to let our kids do that, our students. But if it's a different path up the mountain of self-development and unfolding of potential, the more space and room we give them and ourselves to find our way, our own way. Then we're going to be cultivating, growing, developing, advocating for a culture of authenticity, and that's very profound. It's hard to find.

Amy Edelstein: 25:44

As we start coming to the end of this reflection on authenticity, let's do a short guided mindfulness practice that will allow us to sink into ourselves and to recognize those qualities that we're always working with when we're doing our mindfulness practice, and qualities that will help us be more centered, be more grounding, be more present and more integrated, which the end result is going to be. We're just going to be much happier, less guilty, less shame, filled with shame and less nervous about doing the wrong thing. So let's do a little practice. Allow yourself to rest in yourself, sitting back, releasing your grip from everything that you're trying to keep going at once, letting your eyes close so you can leave those emails and texts alone. You won't even see them coming in, you won't feel that itch to respond.

Amy Edelstein: 27:15

Give yourself to this moment to pay attention to your interiority. Hold that word, that space inside yourself, and see what arises. Find your balance, that posture of meditation where you're not sleepy and too relaxed, where you're not tense and grasping, trying to shape your experience, where you're alert, curious, resting lightly Like when a butterfly lands on your outstretched finger you see it's there, but you can barely feel its little feet. Hold on to your quality of attention that lightly, let a smile rise from within and settle on your face, lighting up your cheeks and your eyes and your forehead and your lips. Pay attention to the movement of impatience, wanting things to be different than they are, wanting to disrupt the stillness just because of habit, of the difficulty of being intimate with ourselves, and let your attention fall to your intention.

Amy Edelstein: 31:10

What moves you? What do you care about If everything was taken care of and there was no worry? What draws you forward? What gives you the greatest sense of purpose and joy? Allow yourself to hold that intention. Imagine imagining it was like nectar. It was nourishing every cell of your body, your brain cells, your heart cells, your stomach cells and every other part, and notice how our deepest core values are food, not only for our soul but for our regular being in all the dimensions that we have to show up. And on your next breath, bring your attention back to your familiar surroundings and prepare yourself to move on with that joy of authenticity, centeredness, intention and love. I'll see you next time. Thank you for listening to the Conscious Classroom. I'm your host, amy Edelstein. Please check out the show notes on innerstrengthfoundationnet for links and more information, and if you enjoyed this podcast, please share it with a friend and pass the love on. See you next time.